Do you want to know how to answer the phone?
We have 60 funny ways to answer the phone. You’ll never be bored with these creative ideas!
They’re perfect for when you need a little pick-me-up or just want to make someone laugh. And they work great if you don’t feel like talking on the phone at all, but still want people calling and hanging up on them. It’s a win-win situation!
If you’re looking for some inspiration, we’ve got it here in our list of 40 different ways that will definitely get their attention and keep them coming back for more.
Just read through this list and find one that works best with your personality or sense of humor!
You’ll be glad that you did because it’s so much fun – plus everyone loves a good laugh every now and then anyway, right? So go ahead… give us a call today!
We can’t wait to hear from ya’. Or maybe not… hahaha. 🙂
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40 Examples of Funny Phone Answers
1. 911, what’s your emergency?
Imagine saying this when a call comes in. Don’t allow the other person to speak and jump in immediately. The other person will laugh out loud because of it.
2. I am the voice of your conscience. This is God’s T-Mobile side, try not to be rude, please?
Answer the phone pretending to be a telemarketer or some other kind of salesperson who sells good things.
3. After you have had this conversation with me, you can hang up.
Answer the phone pretending to be a telemarketer or some other kind of salesperson who sells good things.
4. Hi! This is an automated call from (Insert your name here)
If your name is not used as the last word, then try this with your pet’s name. Then keep calling back with different names to see the other person’s reaction.
5. This is Justin Bieber
If your name is not used as the last word, then try this with your pet’s name. Then keep calling back with different names to see the other person’s reaction.
6. Whoa! I wasn’t expecting to get you on the phone. Give me a second and let me find out about your account status.
Answer the phone pretending to be a celebrity.
7. Put it down! That’s not a toy.
Answer the phone pretending to be an employee working at a call center or some such place that requires services from you (the caller).
8. Why are you still awake? You should go to sleep now.
Answer the phone when it rings in the middle of the night saying this before the other person can say anything. It will make the other person laugh out loud.
9. Incoming call from a telemarketer, please press 1 to take this call and have fun with your scumbag caller!
Take a different route in answering the phone every time you want to answer it.
10. I’m not able to talk at the moment. Can I call you back?
Answer the phone pretending to be someone who is busy with his/her work or some other place where they cannot speak at that time.
11. Anything after “hello” would not mean anything so please don’t say it!
Answer the phone when someone you don’t want to talk with calls saying this.
12. Hello, my name is (insert your name here) and I can’t talk at the moment because I am too busy doing awesome stuff!
Answer the phone in such a way that it explains why you cannot talk to them instead of just saying that you cannot talk.
13. Hello? Is this a prank call? I haven’t heard of you and I don’t know anything about what you do so whatever it is, we can’t work together!
Answer the phone pretending to be someone who doesn’t know the other person and never heard of them.
14. Look! I can’t talk to you right now, okay? Leave me alone and let me get back to doing my work.
Answer the phone in such a way that it explains why you cannot talk with them instead of just saying that you cannot talk.
15. Yeah? What do you want?
Answer the phone in a different language every time someone calls you so it is funny when they have no idea what you are saying.
16. Buenas tardes, se encuentra el departamento de servicio al cliente para su tranquilidad y solucionar sus problema con nuestros esfuerzo màximo.
Answer the phone pretending to be bilingual or speaking two languages when someone calls you.
17. I am sorry but this is not a working line right now, please try calling back later after 10 minutes.
Answer the phone before it can ring saying this with an automated voice of some sort in the background.
18. Oh, I’m so glad it’s you! Let me tell you all about this amazing book I just finished!
Answer the phone pretending to know the person who called you and start talking about something random with them without knowing why they actually called.
19. Hi, mom/dad/grandma/grandpa! This is your grandkid speaking!
Answer the phone pretending to be your own child or grandchild when someone you don’t know calls.
20. I’m so glad you called! I’ve been trying to reach out to you for some time now but they kept telling me that my number isn’t in service.
Answer the phone with a voice that it is not coming from your phone like using your kid or someone else’s phone and pretend to be the caller on the other end.
21. I’m sorry, we can’t talk to you right now. We are too busy eating donuts and drawing cats on the walls.
Answer the phone pretending to work in a place where what they do is not suitable for callers who may offend them with their calls such as an animal shelter or something of that sort.
22. Oh, would you look at the time! I have to go right now, sorry!
Answer the phone when it rings in the middle of something important or urgent saying this before the other person can say anything so it would be funny.
23. Oh, did I forget to tell you? I’m not home right now. Can I call you back?
Answer the phone to make people think you are not home when you actually are.
24. The number you have reached is currently out of service. If it is urgent, please hang up and call again later!
Answer the phone pretending to be someone else or where they work and say this before hanging up.
25. Good morning/afternoon/evening! This is a courtesy call to let you know that we have been trying to reach out to you for some time now but your number keeps being busy.
Answer the phone pretending to be someone else and try calling at random times as if they are looking for the person who called them.
26. Oh, I’m sorry! You called at a bad time. Can I call you back in a few hours?
Answer the phone when it rings in the middle of something important or urgent saying this before the other person can say anything so it would be funny.
27. Sorry but we are currently closed for business. If you would like, leave your name, number, and a brief message after the beep.
Answer the phone saying this when it rings pretending to be someone who works in a place with specific hours of work.
28. I’m so sorry but we are currently on break right now so please try calling back later!
Answer the phone with your current voice but pretend to be someone who works in a place with specific hours of work.
29. No, I don’t live here! Sorry for the inconvenience but please stop calling or I will have to take legal action against you!
Answer the phone pretending to be someone else and try calling at random times as if they are looking for the person who called them.
30. Oh no! I’m afraid this phone has been disconnected because we failed to make our payments on time.
Answer the phone pretending to be someone else and try calling at random times as if they are looking for the person who called them.
31. The number you dialed is currently busy, please call again later after an hour of rest.
Answer the phone with another voice pretending to be someone else and try calling at random times as if they are looking for the person who called them.
32. Haha, just kidding! I can’t believe you actually fell for that.
Answer the phone with your current voice and pretend to be someone else and try calling at random times as if they are looking for the person who called them.
33. Oh no, we haven’t received any calls yet so please stop calling us! We don’t want to be bothered!
Answer the phone acting as if you work in a place with specific hours of work and try calling at random times.
34. Oh, I’m sorry…you have reached the wrong number so please hang up and dial again!
Answer the phone pretending to be someone else and try calling at random times as if they are looking for the person who called them.
35. Oh, I’m sorry we don’t have that number in our phone book so please stop calling here!
Answer the phone pretending to be someone else and try calling at random times as if they are looking for the person who called them.
36. Sorry but we only take orders from our mother company so please stop calling!
Answer the phone pretending to be someone else and try calling at random times as if they are looking for the person who called them.
37. Oh, I’m sorry but this is just a recording. We will be out of service until further notice so please call back another time!
Answer the phone pretending to be someone else and try calling at random times as if they are looking for the person who called them.
38. Oh I’m sorry, we have been having some technical difficulties lately so please call back later!
Answer the phone with another voice and pretend to be someone else and try calling at random times as if they are looking for the person who called them.
39. Oh I’m sorry but we don’t have that number in our database so please stop calling or we will be forced to take legal action against you!
Answer the phone acting as if you work in a place with specific hours of work and try calling at random times. It will make the other person laugh out loud.
40. Oh I’m sorry but there is a strict policy here that we don’t accept prank phone calls so please stop calling!
Answer the phone with another voice and pretend to be someone else and try calling at random times as if they are looking for the person who called them.
41. Hi! This is an automated call from Duck Duck Goose.
Answer the phone pretending to be a telemarketer or some other kind of salesperson who sells good things.
42. Hi, this is your mom calling you collect from jail because you were arrested again for breaking the rules. Now I’ll have to come down there and bring you up here and who’s going to take care of all these kids…
Answer the phone pretending to be an old person. Or, maybe your mom.
43. Don’t you just hate when people call in the middle of dinner? I’m in the middle of a very important meeting right now and can’t talk, but let me give you the number of my assistant. It’s 555-5555.
Answer the phone pretending to be an important person in a company. Then give them some creative phone numbers which you make up on the spot, that way it will be more fun for both of you!
44. This is not your house? I’m just borrowing this for Halloween.
Answer the phone pretending to be a telemarketer or some other kind of salesperson who sells good things.
45. Hi, I’m not here right now … because I’m dead
Answer the phone pretending to be someone who has passed away. Or, maybe you’re just taking a personal day off! Or it could even be a prank call from someone you know!
46. Hi, what would you like to talk about?
Answer the phone pretending to be a telemarketer or some other kind of salesperson who sells good things. If the person continues talking, ask them to buy something so they will be quiet and leave you alone! Then go back to your daily life.
47. Hi, this is Google calling because your phone number has been linked to something inappropriate or illegal! And for that reason, we are shutting down your cell phone. Bye now!
Answer the phone pretending to be a Google employee will be funny as hell.
48. Hi, I’m in the middle of watching a movie and it’s scary! I don’t want to interrupt. Can we call you back in like five minutes?
Answer the phone pretending to be someone who is watching a scary movie.
49. Hi, this is your grandma calling to tell you that there’s no such thing as Global Warming. What happened to you? You’ve been brainwashed!
Answer the phone pretending to be someone who is against global warming. Or, maybe you’re just calling from the past!
50. Hi, this is your mom calling to ask you what time it is because she’s really old and doesn’t have a watch.
Answer the phone pretending to be someone who is much older than you.
51. Hi, have I reached the residence of (Insert Name Here)? If so, will you please go outside and check your mailbox? We’re having a problem with our telephone lines in the neighborhood and can’t give out any information until we know for sure that no one has reported us.
Answer the phone pretending to be a telephone company employee and just ask the person to check their mailbox for you.
52. Hi, is this (insert name here)? If so, I’m advancing your credit card $5 because of how special you are to me. Thank you for being such an excellent customer!
Answer the phone pretending to be a telephone company employee. If they say no, you can tell them it’s a joke and laugh together!
53. Hi, this is your dog calling from the grave because he misses you so much that he just had to call you even though his medication has made him go crazy.
Answer the phone pretending to be a pet who is dead. Or, maybe it’s just someone you know trying to pull a nasty prank!
54. Hi, this is an automated call from the police department asking if you enjoyed doing whatever it is that you were doing when we received your last 911 call? Please stay on the line for an important update about our county wide safety campaign!
Answer the phone pretending to be a police department or something along those lines.
55. Hi, I’m not here right now … because I’m in an important meeting with the President of my company and we’re discussing important business matters that can’t be interrupted. Can we call you back later?
Answer the phone as someone who has an important job and is very busy. Maybe it’s just a joke from a friend, family member, or co-worker! For more fun, try saying your meeting with Joe Biden!
Also Read: Which set of u.s. presidents have descendants who are married to each other?
56. Hi, this is your neighbor calling to tell you that there’s a naked man hanging in your backyard.
Answer the phone pretending to be someone’s neighbor. If they ask why you’re calling, just tell them that you saw it with your own eyes!
57. Hi, this is Google calling because there’s something wrong with your computer and we need to install some updates right away! Click ‘Ok’ to continue.
Answer the phone pretending to be Google! If they ask what’s wrong, just say you don’t know because you’re not a real techy person.
58. Hi, this is your future self calling from the year 2025 to tell you that someone in the future stole all of your money so hang up and don’t trust anyone!
Answer the phone pretending to be someone’s future self. If they ask why just tell them that you need their help and you’ll explain it all when they get there!
59. Hi, this is a message from your bank letting you know that your credit card has been suspended because of suspicious activity on your account. You won’t be able to use your card for any purchases until further notice. Please call the number at the bottom of this screen immediately.
Answer the phone pretending to be someone from a bank! If they ask what happened, just say you don’t know because it was all automated!
60. Hi, this is your grandmother calling from heaven to thank you for all your hard work and to let you know that she’s very proud of you.
The last Funny Ways to Answer the Phone Ideas. Answer the phone as someone who has been dead for a long time! If they ask how it was up in heaven, just say that it was great but it really made her miss you!
Final Words
Answer your friend’s or family members’ calls using this funny joke. These are great jokes that will make people laugh while also letting them know they didn’t ruin your day by asking a question!
I love this one “15. Yeah? What do you want?”, used it too much though haha!